peer pressure or necessity or…?

First scenario

I called him “big bruv” – but technically he is my parents’ friend.

He is 24 years older than I am, and 12 years younger than my father.

We were all born in the year of the rat from a Chinese Zodiac perspective, we are related in a special way, with a special bond. 

I believe that because he’s always been a big brother to me and took care of me since I was little. 

His family was a strange one.

He is the oldest, followed by a boy, and another two girls. 

His mother had a lot of pride – she doesn’t think anybody is good enough for her children, and she would judge every single person that her children would get in touch with. 

When I was little, he used to take me along with him when he goes on dates sometimes on the weekend.

I was one of the first people to meet his future wife. 

I can’t remember how long they dated for, but they dated for forever.

After a few years, they divorced. 

It’s been a while now, I don’t remember how long ago it has been.

Neither of their family like the choice of their partner, but they went with it (and I thought it was a great decision).

I was very sad when I found out they divorced.

When I got older, I eventually found out they got married because they were having relationship problems. 

They thought getting married will solve the relationship problem.

But it didn’t.

Second scenario

A friend of mine from boarding school got married last year. 

Technically she eloped.

Her parents were together until her mother passed away with cancer and her father suffered a minor stroke. Her family has a very strange relationship. Her mother would baby the two children as if they were both small children, and her father would treat the two of them as if they were adults… when they were both teenagers. 

She moved to New Zealand with her boyfriend for her a new job, and she decided to move to the Middle East for another job.

The problem is, as a female, she can’t be a single female working in the Middle East. 

So she got married – she has been with her boyfriend for long enough already, and though she is the least likely out of the group of us get married, I did say she would be the first one to be married.

And no one was at her wedding. 

Last scenario

Another a friend of mine who is in Hong Kong got married at the end of March.

She is currently living separately from her husband because she has not found a place to live together.

She decided to get married because they wanted a family together. 

She said she was the one but for as long as I remember, she has complained about every single one of her relationship for as long as I have known her. 

She is a year older than I am, and in true Asian style, she is getting too old to get married.

(I am definitely too old in Asian style to be married)

All these people got married, but did they really need to get married? 

Do they have to get married?

Did they get married for the right reason?

Because to me, all of these are not the right reason to get married.

Don’t get me wrong.

I want to be married.

But I want the right person and I want the right reason to get married.

I don’t want to do it because of peer pressure or necessity. 

If I have to get married because of something like that?

I’d rather not.